His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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