i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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