I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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