You know, be my cock's hype man.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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