Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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