Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
