And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
