just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
he just fucked me for my cheese..
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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