So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
