Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
