I want to have your abortion
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize