I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I am available for nakedness
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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