we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
