So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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