Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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