Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
