all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize