I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
