just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize