...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
