hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I will be naked everywhere
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize