I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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