do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
