last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
