pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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