i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
