Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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