You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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