And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
