I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
