yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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