I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
