When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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