she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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