I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
