new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
