You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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