Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
