Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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