does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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