I love black thongs
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
