remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize