were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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