I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
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