Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
