Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
