God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Randomize
