She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
