how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
