I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize