See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
