Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
