I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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