I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
where does the pee come out of this thing
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
